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June 26th, 2005


10:21 pm
I am writing from Ritas house in Portugal right now!! wow isnt that crazy a whole ocean away from the states...
this trip is going great!! :) I really enjoyed the UK and what we have done in Portugal so far...
Edinburgh in Scotland was a great time... it is an awesome city. I liked it so much!! Then we saw a bunch of little cities, not all that exciting but cool to see... One nigt we stayed in a castle, which was awesome cuz we could explore the ruins and stuff... that was a fun night. there was a mideiaval dinner there too, which was so fun... (and mead... haha) We ended the UK part of the trip in London, which I fell in love with!! It has so much to do and so many different kinds of ppl, its just great!! :) We got to see all the famous London kinda stuff like big ben, the london eye, tower bridge, etc...
So far in Portugal we have gone to Porto and been in Lisbon... its a very different kinda life here... It is really warm!! ppl here drink tons of wine and we got to tour a port wine company (really good wine i guess) that was really kinda cool!! :) We also went to a St. Johns festival which was interesting... they hit ppl on the head with plastic hammer things... lol... when a guy likes you or little kids just do it for fun.. i didnt toally understand... haha My portugese is getting pretty good... haha a grea improvement from knowing none... ha We are headed to Spain in a couple days and then to the south.
When we leave here its off the Sweden and then home... the trip is about half over... its been great!! :)
Current Music: foriegn talking

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May 23rd, 2005


10:49 pm
OMG!! i am in shock!! i just looked up my grades and i got a D in economics!! OMG!! i passed and i didnt even go to the final!! that is nuts!! :) but i kinda feel bad cuz i really dont deserve to pass... oh well!! college is nuts!! i did fail math... but i shoulda i didnt go to class and i did quite terrible on the test-->i got them back after the final... i didnt pass a single one :(
anyways... wow i am such shock... i cannot believe it!! so my gpa is a 2.001... omg i am not even on academic probation... this is just nuts!! wow...
so today was a crazy day.. i got my hair cut-->super short... freshman year of high school look all over again!! i donated over a foot of hair to locks of love... :) (go me!!) lol... it was hard to decide if i should cut it or not... but i am so glad i did... well i think its cute and i hope other ppl do too!! :) it will be so mch easier to take care of at camp and in europe too... so its all good.. i just look much older... i donno... it will take a while for me to get used to it... and the way i figure it it took 4 years to get to where it was and in 4 years (ish) i wanna get married so it will be long again for that!! :) (yuppers... good thinking on my part!!)
about being back home now... its crazy how all of us that hang out together can so easily just go back to being like we were last summer!! its a good time... everything is really good with everyone and i am having a blast being back here!! :) the whole guy thing (of course) kinda returned but i dont care cuz i am leaving in 2 weeks... i think it will always be there in some way or another... i was so excited on saturday night i got to eat pudgie pies!! YUMMY!! i was craving them hard core!! lol
my room is still a mess from coming home i havent unpacked ne thing... gotta do that soon!! tomorrow i am going shopping with colleen and carlyn and maybe mrs dineen... i am excited for that...
its just been so busy with campfires and seeing everyone again... but now everyone has started to work again so i will have my days to unpack and then i am gonna start scrapbooking again... (still working on my christmas one) but i gotta get that done and the one i am doing with kim of basement parties cuz i definately need to do one for europe!! ahhhhhhhh... next school year i am taking my scrapbooking chest thingie to school with me... its necessary!! :) haha
well off to bed for me... got a lot to do tomorrow!! :)
Current Mood: amusedamused

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May 18th, 2005


12:25 am
well i am here in my room all alone!! :( maggie and brooke just left to go to bed... we were talking about how we have changed this year and then about being old... like 80 old... it was an interesting conversation!!
ashley came on the internet and said goodnight to me!! :) awe i already miss her!! she was a really good roommate!! :)
tomorrow is maggies last night here... :( thursday... saying goodbye to her is gonna be hard!! :( she was the first person i met here and that is something that no one else can be... i am gonna miss having her so close to me... and then friday brooke leaves a couple hours before me... and then i am alone!! :( and i am a year older, wiser, and more mature...
its amazing how much a persons life can change in a year... i donno if other ppl will be able to tell but i can see in myself that i am a better more open person who has gained confidence and an identity... next year it will kinda like being starting all over with new ppl to live with and new classes and everything... i donno... its gonna be easier then this year i hope!! :) and i hope i can meet as great of ppl as i have this year!!
and europe i really hope that i learn so much from the trip and i hope that i can meet some new ppl... i donno exactly how that would happen, but i think it will!! i really hope it does!! i am just so excited to be having such a new experiance!! its been quite a year so far and it can just get better!! :)
Current Mood: happya little sad...
Current Music: elimidate

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May 16th, 2005


11:03 pm
so its ashleys last night...
we just finished the last episode of season 5 of dawsons creek and it was the end of all thier first years of college... kinda funny how that works out huh??
its so weird how a year ago... well a school year ago i was just leaving high school, scared to let my friends go and all excited and scared about the next year in college... now i am scared that i will never meet as good of ppl to live with as i have this year (minus kat) but even she made me apprecaite a good roommmate even more... i mean we have had our differences but i know that she is one of the best ppl i couldnt have asked for as a roommate!! and i am so glad i have gotten to meet her and have her as a friend...
i am so scared next year wont compare to this year...
i just realized i will probably not ever have a roommate again... awe :( i like having someone to tell me dream to the minute i wake up, and someone who's phone wakes me up from a dead sleep and the next morning i get to hear all about why that person called, and someone who is up to do ne thing and who gets sick of sitting in the same room all the time and needs to go out and do stuff... i mean i can be lazy and still in bed but she would be too and we could talk in person cuz we were already in the same room but never had to move... and she has changed me and i donno if she will ever know that... i mean i have changed myself too but there was someone needed to inspire that... i mean heck i know how to rockclimb cuz of her!! haha... not that i am ever gonna use that... :) but she was there the first time i went to the rave and she was up for baseball and basketball and eating at ungodly hours of the night... and the great food of george webb... ewe.. and pizza in a park... making odd drinks with tequilla... another ewe.. someone to read my horoscopes to and have them read theirs back to me... its gonna be so weird not having someone right there all the time... i mean she was really a great roommate...
i am already starting to tear up... oh gosh tomorrow i better not cry!! ahhh.... lol

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08:10 pm
yippie!! i got an A in rockclimbing!! just checked!! :)
haha lifes little happiness!! :) thats 2 credits of A... to balance out the Fs... eek
Current Mood: happyhappy

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05:42 pm
aight so as of today i am pretty sure well almost positive that i failed 2 classes... ahh this kinda sucks... i am gonna have to take math again for sure next year and probably eventually take economics too... ugh... oh well everything happens for a reason and i messed up and i know it!! so i will learn from my mistakes... academic probabation here i come... ugh...
4 days and i am outta here!! i cannot believe it!! i am done with my first year of college!! wow!!
the kyle situation has blown over and its all good... nothing was figured out but that is ok with me for some odd reason... i dont want ne thing more then that night... and if it repeats itself another night it wouldnt be terrible... we were what eachother needed that night!! :) hes still a friend so its all good!!
i was just a bit anxious cuz i didnt wanna deal with a guy situation and i dont have to... i am much happier with out them!! i shoulda learned this a long time ago!! OMG life woulda been so much easier!! but no i didnt... i know now!! and i am better for knowing it!!
i feel like a totally different person in the last month!! wow its crazy!! i hope i am still as fun of a person as my former self is.. but really i think i love life more now then i ever have before cuz its all about and for me!! haha i have becomed self obsessed... not really... i am just looking out for myself and my feelings not helping random ppl that i meet... its about getting my life on track then i can merge it with someone else's and not until then can i be a good half in a relationship!!
24 days til i leave for europe!! OMG i cannot believe it!! i think that the trip will really make me grow up even more and definately be more understanding of the world and other cultures... ahhhh i am so excited!! :) and then camp where i know i grew up so much the last couple years in my life... from CIT to CIT II and then just a bit as a counselor... but CITs was definately a growing experiance!!
i just got an email from a international counselor that is gonna be working at camp this summer... she seems awesome and really excited... i am excited to meet all the new staff!! i hope there are some awesome ppl... that will return and i get to be friends with and all that...
aight enought i cannot write ne more cuz i am talking to colleen and watching season 5 of dawsons creek... woohoo for a new season!! :)
Current Mood: accomplished

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May 13th, 2005


11:44 am
ok i should probably carify my last entry i just wasnt sure i was gonna remember the night so i decided to write it quick... but i remember... which i am so glad i do, but in a sense dont i donno...
ne ways last night we went out for maggies bday first. we went to chins and ate then to cold stone... it was a good meal...
then ashley and i went over to kyles cuz she said she was really stressed and all and wanted to drink... we watched movies of course... haha and then played some darts (ashley, mike, kyle, and i). amanda said the cops were kinda near... somewhere down the street and i was like oh crap that would suck to get busted... and somehow i brought up that if you are married to someone who is over 21 and you arent then you can drink so then ashley is like mikes mine and kyle was on the porch and i got stuck with him... so that was really odd cuz like we played house...haha it was utterly rediculous... and fun... lol... somewhere in there the drinks tasted stronger and ashley was like kyle what did you add to this?!?! and he was like um everclear... i was like oh shit this isnt gonna be good... but by then i had already drank another glass or two... :/ (apple pucker, some kinda vodka i think, strawberries, jack daniels, orange juice, and everclear) then we were gonna go to a party but they had already gotten busted so we just went back to kyle and mikes... ashley and mike sat on the front porch while kyle and i went to the upstairs one... i donno what the heck happened in that boys mind but it was CRAZY!! we ended up like cuddling on the couch and watching a movie... then ashley and mike came up and sat on the floor in the way back of the living room (which was totally odd) and she like fell asleep in his lap and kyle decided to pull out thier pull out couch into a bed... he was like you should just sleep here and i didnt really know what to say so i got into the bed and we... cuddled again... ok this is all sounding so crazy i like dont even wanna write it!! haha i do not like him and nothing really happened... ashley and i left about an hour later so i didnt end up sleeping with him.. haha that sounded great... he is a good friend and hes fun to hang out with (usually) but he isnt boyfriend material and i am finally good with being single and i dont wanna screw that up... i am hoping he was just drunk and it was the alcohol that affected him...
its kinda nice to be wanted... even if it was cuz he was drunk... lol
i actually had a really nice night... i stuck to my morals which i was kinda surprised by... and i donno it was like having a really good guy friend... (actually it kinda reminds me of the day david and i sat in randy basement... but lets not go there) but i knew i didnt like him and i wasnt gonna do ne thing i would regret and i didnt!! :)
it was just so, so, so odd... i donno how else to describe it...
i gotta add this i wrote it last night cuz typing wasnt working so well... lol...
"it was nice i think he actually likes me i dont like him but its not too often a guy likes me
sat on the couch (pull out) and watched a movie harmless
said he woulda kissed me goo thing he didnt but all in all it was nice"
more to note about the night he said i was a really good friend and maybe more... and that last time he told me i wasnt his type he was lying and that i should believe this time... AND he says that guys hate girls like ashley once they actually know her cuz she's a tease and has a bf... honestly i really think he was drunk and getting back at ashley by being all over me... but on the other hand maybe he finally has seen the true her and me and likes me.. who knows
ugh this is such a conflict... i mean he is attractive... well i think so... but i know that i wouldnt wanna marry him for MANY reasons... but its nice to think that someone likes you, ya know?? so confusing... i guess we will see what happens in the future... i am kinda scared that he does like me cuz if he does i dont wanna hurt him cuz i cannot (like him back) do that to myself... there is better out there for me!! :) i know that now.... and when its time for that person (whoever they are) to find me they will!! :) i have faith in that now... a couple weeks ago i couldnt have said that with such conviction!! i am glad i can now!! :)
Current Mood: groggygroggy

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02:44 am
its so nice3 to be wnated... it just felt so good..
i didnt go nthing iwill regret!! :)
but there was a putt out couch and a kyle oops...
bu t truse me i sisnt don ne hitng
hes reall is a good guy and he kiles me... that is msome thing that doesnt happen too foten

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May 12th, 2005


01:46 am
i just realized i am done with my first year of college!!
can you believe that?? its crazy!!
i am so old... things are different now... i am different!!
in the last 2 weeks i have changed a lot i think... i mean i am the same person cuz my personality is the same but i am being me now... doing things for me and being who i wanna be... its something new!! i kinda like it!! :)
everything has just seemed to fall into place so well these last couple of weeks and its so good!! i love it!! :)

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May 11th, 2005


02:25 pm
yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am done!!
well not techinically but i am not going to my classes tomorrow so that means i am done!! :)
i just had my final for philosophy of religion... i think i did ok. and my quiz for personality.. OMG i kicked ass on that!! i got an 80% :) haha and one of the questions might get thrown out so i might have a 90%... wow... its crazy!! :) i still have a week to study for the final in there... i hope i do as well on this test as i have on the last 2... i feel kinda bad cuz i dont go to class yet i totally rock the tests and now a quiz... haha
i was actually a bit stressed about these two things but i am all better now!! :)
i am about ready to go home now!!

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